Thursday, June 5, 2014

I have been given bread

A friend called me last night, and left a voicemail. In it, she spoke of her Bible study, and the verse "Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?" (Matthew 7:9). Yet often she has not wanted to ask for good things, for fear of receiving the stone.
   Each time I hear a promise from God, my faith struggles. Luke has another rendition of this promise, "What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (11:11-13). I wanted to face my doubts head on, so I come to ask - have I been given stones or bread?
    The analytical part of me notes that one, the child asks for bread, not stones. They ask correctly, for my mind brings in James, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly." Yet we are told to ask for daily bread, so asking for bread would not be wrong. The sarcastic, cutting voice in my head also reminds me that God's definition of bread and stones may be different than mine, for bread is what sustains us through the day, not what gives us ease. But I am overanalyzing, so I take a step back.
    Has God given us bread? Can I take a look at the past, both of my life and that of friends and family, and say that God has provided?
    He has not provided for us to do our own will, granted, but that was never what He promised. No, He has provided all we need to walk according to His will. He granted us His Word, the bread we need to survive this life.
   He gave me an alarm clock this morning, time to do the dishes, time to walk to work and to pray for strength to get through the day. He even gave me strength in the past, so that I pray with faith when asking for God to get me through the day, to reply to each bitter call with grace, to try to cheer when the complaints pour out from coworkers after a hard week, and the ability to get things done, which is a delight as it helps my supervisor. Daily bread - given.
   I still stumble over stones, stumbling on my face sometimes, but looking down, I see most of the stones have been placed in my way by my own actions. I chose to eat poorly yesterday, so much of the exhaustion is my fault. I chose to stay up later to watch part of a movie - again, my choice, my consequences. I chose to ignore most of my to-do list, getting done only what I had to, so the stress of the list left undone I wear because I did not take the time to do what it contained.
   I chose to be irritated, instead of letting unkind comments go. I chose to be selfish, rather than giving God my time and seeing what He would do with it.
   My stones. My stumbling blocks. Yet, such is the mercy of our God, He still gives daily bread, and even more, increases our portion of daily bread, of fish, of eggs, to meet the needs we create by our disobedience. He bears no grudge against that, for His only Son died so that He need not punish us for our sins. Nor does He count the portion of bread He gives out, but gives in abundance, with delight, according to our need and the path He has for us.
   No matter what path that leads, no matter what mountains I need to climb, or oceans I need to cross, God will always give what we need. My food is chosen as carefully as the events of my life have been chosen, and in each day, I know that God has given me my daily bread.

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders […] take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my savior."

There is one other place in scripture that speaks of bread and stones. It is written in Revelation 2:17, "To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it." God will never stop giving us our daily bread, not even in eternity, but there, even the stones that were our stumbling blocks will be taken away, and God will give us a white stone with a new name.

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