Dependent on a Word

      The sermon this morning was amazing. We're going through Matthew, and this about Jesus's forty day fast and temptation. The sermon had several points, but I have been asking questions about fasting, especially about when to end, and some of the things that were said stuck with me.
    One, Jesus's temptation was really about dependence on God (fitting in with the theme that Jesus's whole life was a life of weakness). The first temptation, making bread from stones, was not, in and of itself, sin. However, Jesus is fasting as obedience to God, for forty days AND nights, and is dependent on God on when to end it (the fast ends as angels come to minister to him). Oh, how tempting that would be! To make bread, when it is not directly wrong--but God has commanded that Jesus fast, and, though he has done well/right for forty days, it is not ended yet. The second test is also subtle; it asks Jesus to prove his power, that God really cares for him; my pastor pointed out that Jesus's answer shows Jesus's understanding that this is Jesus's test of righteousness, not God being tester. The third test is not subtle; the devil gets right to what he wants, Jesus's worship of himself, God lowering himself. This test (my own thought, not my pastor's point) was the immediate gratification vs. the suffering that was going to come.
     One of the most striking thoughts, however, was how Christ answered: with the Word of God. My pastor pointed out that Christ was the word--anything he said would technically be the word of God. But Christ uses the Old Testament, the word that he was given, and uses it wisely/correctly. Satan uses it too, yes, but Christ's dependence on God was on more than bread, but on the wisdom to answer Satan's attacks, and the wisdom to live--to wait to end his fast till God sent angels to minister to him. I knew, from Psalm nineteen, just how important the Word is--reviving the soul, rejoicing the heart, purity enlightening the eyes, wisdom itself, warning of sin. But this--Satan lost this war because Christ depended on the word of God.
      I want that--I want that so badly. I came home and read Pilgrim's Progress. In there are Christians known as "Little-Faith," who barely made it to heaven, who complained this whole life through, and "Greatheart," who defeats the Giant Despair. I, indolent and gluttonous as I am, with as little faith and as complaining a spirit as the weakest of Bunyan's characters, want to be one of God's champions, one of those who escort people along the narrow way, even though that means traversing that dark path again and again, with Satan's new tortures along the way, even though that means loving--and suffering with--each person through their fears and disappointments and hurts. And I believe God can change me to that, me, I, kesse, girl who lives half in imagination and half in fighting against bitterness at reality. But I am made in the image of God, and He has redeemed me, past tense, redeemed. And I will be His, and I will wait on Him, with faith, dependent on Him to change me. Warrior, champion, healer, prophet, minuscule  person in the corner, I believe first and foremost that He will do what is best, and that it will be good. All glory to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, Trinity three in one!