Questions

       I've been reading through Lewis's Surprised by Joy. I may not agree with his definition of joy (though that is more because I am currently having trouble defining it myself, and it is difficult to agree with anyone when I do not yet have a clear idea of what we're agreeing about). But it has made me think about a few things. God, guide and guard my thoughts!
     Why do I believe in the Bible, and in the God described there? To ask these questions is not to say I have stopped believing in the Bible, or God, but I do believe God gave us brains for a reason, and I would like to examine my beliefs and see if there is a reasonable progression between what I know and what I believe. But I shall probably do so very poorly, because I am still testing out these things, and discovering assumptions. So perhaps this post should be labeled "nonsense," not "Questions."
    One, I believe there is a God. Creation hails to that. I found assurance of that in a high school sciencebook, where it spoke of to symbiotic fish. Most fish do not have teeth, because they would rot away underwater. This type of fish did. Its main food source was smaller fish. But there was one small fish it did not eat--it would seem up the smaller fishes' home, open its mouth, and the small fish would dart fearlessly into its mouth and eat away everything that would have rotted the teeth. The larger fish was the food source for the smaller, and somehow knew not to eat them while they were in its mouth. I honestly don't think that could have evolved; it would make no sense. Other points of creation point to a creator, as well.
    An incredible one, with infinite creative capabilities. Sunsets alone are proof of that, where beauty is common but the variety makes it new. The difference between a jungle and one of the Poles, between the plains and the mountains and the plateaus, even between the various types of beaches (sand, rock, cliffs, slopes, and the overwhelming variety of life there), point to being that loves to make things. Once again, if this was created by evolution, why is there such an abundance of life? Why so many variations? Evolution is about what works, I think, and yet that would mean a lot more simplicity. Why would things be so complicated if the only goal of life was to survive?
    Creation is beautiful and vast. Whomever created it is worthy of awe, infinitely (at least by my standards) complex, and I am a joke of intelligence beside him.
    The creation of humanity, though, brings up a million more questions. Humanity is as varied as the earth we live on. I've never known two people whom I could ever call the same. There are fundamental differences even in the ones who are similar...and, reading biographies and autobiographies, I find the same. Yet humanity has much in common--we eat, we sleep, we cry, we fight, we strive, we desire, we seek happiness, we think, all in varying degrees, yes, but we do. The English word "alien" illustrates this, for to have something alien there must be something in common with those who are not foreign. I find it hard to for humanity to tell me much clearly about God, save for this--we can be amazing beautiful, but there must be someone out there that is not broken, or there is no hope for us. I've been the one to bear the burdens, and I've been the one crying out for help, and I know how good fellowship is, but if I did not have hope of a God who was more than humanity is, I would have committed suicide. From humanity I expect to be hurt, to be let down, to be demanded of, and to be yelled at (thank you, Customer Service job, for the last). I know from myself, I will break every standard I have. I already did today, and paid for it with regret and the crumbling that brings me to my knees when I cry.  I cannot be perfect. No other human will be, or has been, other than one the Bible tells me of.
    I cannot know all of God form humanity, because I cannot comprehend even humanity. Yet I would say we are more like God than any other part of creation, for we are unique from it. We create wonders of beauty, travel through sea and air and on land, write, build, and keep a record of the past as we can. We also enslave, build wealth, and seek for more than our basic needs. Summed up, mankind is "both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth" (Lewis). Therefore, I know this--mankind is complex enough that its creator is going to have to make itself plain to me, or else not hold me accountable for knowing Him, for mankind is not enough for me, at least, to fully know him as I am now.
    Which brings me to Scripture. A struggle between good and evil makes all the sense in the world, considering what the world is. I see evil fighting evil or good fighting evil all over; sometimes, I see good fighting good over what each side considers to be truth. But most of the world is at war, and it makes sense to have a cosmic battle, if the world and even myself war so much. Everyone I know has fights in their life, Christian or not. Each one determines that he or she is right, and therefore has a right to win. What would the cosmic battle look like, though? What are they fighting over? We tend to fight for truth, for power (in any form), for entertainment, or for pride, but if I believe God is more than we are, would He be fighting for more? Would He be what is best in humanity, or, since that logic is twisted, would the best of humanity be molded after Him? The heroes that fight, the Resistance in the World Wars, the Underground during the Civil war, those who fight when they have no chance and no hope of gain, who teach us something about the strength of character, wouldn't they be more like God? Because they teach us about something beyond ourselves.
    Ugh. It's late at night, and I just realized that I have, in my reasoning, said "God must be like this, because we need Him to be." I should have discovered that earlier, but it's late. I may come back to this later. God bless. God, give us truth.