Answered Prayer

Last time I wrote "Because I think that's what I want, I want a life (and the ability to write combined with such a life) that  offers much to all, that is lived to the extent that it is will be listened to, that is changed enough it can communicate itself and what God is doing in it--that can write and be read.
    I wonder what God does with wishes like that?"  
     That very night I found out I might need to go on medication for ADD. God's timing is enough to make me laugh bitterly, sometimes--I didn't want this to happen.
     But who am I to limit God's answers to what I want? That would be such a poor kingdom of God! I remember a part of the book Perelandra, where Ransom complains that saving a planet from sin is too much to rest on his shoulders; it is not fair of God to make him responsible for this. God's answer is that Ransom is not responsible (if I remember correctly); that if Ransom failed and this race sinned, they would be redeemed, but it would be by such an act that showed a deeper plan, that had so much pain, but that caused all of heaven to marvel at God's great love. In the end Ransom does win, or rather God shows Ransom how to win and gives him the strength, but not the way Ransom wished--but because of how he wins, Ransom is enabled to be at the confirming of the planet to complete, joyful submission to God! Is not God's plan better?
   And so, right now, I listen to the song "Blessings" playing from a blog about two parents who are praying for their newborn baby, born with half a heart and already gone through extensive surgery, and my bitter laughter turns to silence, and that silence turns my heart to trust, to faith, and to confidence in God. May His will be done, always, in every way, amen.